The definition of what “good host” means has evolved. “Twenty years ago, entertaining was an act. It was all about polished silver, crisp napkins, and impressive recipes. Now, none of those things matter. The aim has changed. Today, entertaining isn’t about wow; today, entertaining is about connection.”
A “Casual-Elegant” dinner party is the happy medium of modern entertaining. It’s casual enough that guests feel as if they could slip their shoes off, but formal enough to feel like an occasion. It’s a mind-set change: You are not the help, and your house is not a restaurant.
Here are the new rules of engagement for the modern host.
The Invitation and The “Dietary” Question
Previously, enquiring about allergies was not common. Nowadays, it is the first law of hospitality.
So when it comes to sending out your invitation, be it e-card or text message, it is imperative to ask for dietary requirements immediately. This is not impolite; it’s critical. Being informed that one of the guests is gluten-free and another is a vegan helps one plan a menu that is inclusive from day one rather than having to boil a raw potato while others enjoy lasagna.
The Golden Rule: Make one meal that can be eaten by everyone. A problem with cooking multiple meals occurs when guests are isolated. If you are preparing a roast chicken dinner, ensure that the accompanying dishes are vegan.
The Arrival: The Batched Cocktail
The biggest mistake that a modern-day host makes is being bartender. If you find yourself in the kitchen shaking up margaritas one by one as your guests arrive, you are not greeting your guests, you are working.
The answer is the “Batched Cocktail” (a.k.a. Pitcher). Make a signature drink before the doorbell rings. Place it on a side table with ice, glasses, and a garnish. When your guests arrive, serve them a drink or let them serve themselves. Instantly, the room will relax, and you can go to coat handling and introducing people.
The “Risotto” Trap: Menu Planning
This explains why chefs never cook risotto when giving dinner parties at their homes. This recipe needs you to be in the kitchen stirring pots for twenty minutes at the exact time you need to be sitting at dinner.
“Passive cooking” is the secret to modern hosting. It’s essential to pick dishes which are completed in the oven roasted lamb shoulder, brisket, or fish. Such dishes will only be more delicious once they are rested for half an hour, which will give you the chance to enjoy the appetizer course with your friends. If people are giggling in the living room while you’re sweating in the kitchen, your culinary performance has failed.
Lighting and Sound: The Invisible Decor
You can serve take-out pizza, and if the lighting is right, it can be chic. You can serve caviar, and if the overhead lights are on, it becomes a cafeteria.
Turn off the “big light.” Dim the lights using lamps, candles, and light switches. Silence is also the enemy of a casual party. Have a playlist prepared for when guests arrive. This playlist can be instrumental music combined with low-key jazz in the first hour but can pick up dynamics as the evening wears on.
The Seating Strategy
If Ought you to assign seats? In today’s world, definitely yes.
It may seem stuffy, but seating arrangements are actually an act of love. It spares your invited guests from “Where shall I sit?” It also permits you to separate pairs and vary types of personalities. The quiet guest goes next to the interested conversationalist. The two who love traveling go next to each other. You are directing traffic there.
The Verdict
Contemporary manners are not a question of which fork to use. It is a matter of eliminating frictions. A good host guesses what might be needed water in front of the plates, a spot for a coat, a bathroom convenient to locate so that guests might think exclusively of the meal and of each other. There is no point in striving for perfection. Plenty of presence is enough.
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[…] read more: Modern Hosting Etiquette: The Art of the Casual-Elegant Dinner Party […]
[…] While everyone else is obsessed with the menu for weeks in advance and doesn’t give a second thought to the room itself until ten minutes before the guests arrive, this is a mistake. If you’re going to serve the greatest slow roasted lamb in the world and the lights in the room are too bright and the room is too cold with the chairs too far apart, then the dinner will be a disaster. […]